That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
