We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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