In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
