I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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