Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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