Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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