big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
im six kinds of drunk right now
Quick, to the slutcave!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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