friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
