That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
