ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
is wine microwaveable?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
