I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
