i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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