My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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