Whod you bang
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
