We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
