so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
