idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My dad is sitting where you rode me
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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