the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
