Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
