have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
time to smoke my breakfast
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
