bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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