How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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