okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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