Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
