BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Come back. Shots need mouths.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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