Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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