And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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