her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
