He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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