R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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