Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
