they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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