You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
