Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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