It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
