"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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