It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Im part way to drunk.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
