and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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