Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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