Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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