He told me they were just razor bumps!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
