If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
