I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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