Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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