I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
do herpes really smell.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
