I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
