oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
