I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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