I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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