Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
