You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
