do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
