Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
