no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
