You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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