So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize