And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
