There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the day after is always just damage control
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
