So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
