She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
