I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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