I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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