i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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