I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
