oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
