Sry I called you an 8
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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