Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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