You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize