Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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