so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Two words: blizzard sex
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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